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To Our Beautiful Mom

not to follow my dreams, but to chase them

To Mary-Jo on Mothers Day:

Every day I watch you persevere, accomplish and overcome. Life for you right now isn’t a walk in the park. It’s a wheel down a road where you can feel every hill push you back and gravity tumble you foreword. You embrace each challenge as an opportunity for greatness. You act towards each and every individual with compassion and generosity. On the mat in physio you push yourself harder then all extremes. You set your sight on a goal physically or mentally and you attain. You have so successfully surrendered, to trust and be humble, about the need in which this physical state has rendered you. And never once have you questioned any of it

These past months have been nothing short of a roller coaster ride. Caught in the insanity between laughter and tears, I often find myself wondering just how you do it. How do you manage to so peacefully stay in a place of such grace and love where anger and remorse live next door? When I find myself irritated or fearful I look to you for an example of solitude and patience. When Katelynn was recovering from her Tonsillectomy you were by her side. You came to our apartment to see us because we couldn’t make it to see you. In all of the craziness of the accident and the time afterwards, you have never failed to be the most amazing mother. Always present to our needs and always willing to sacrifice and compromise to make sure we were provided for abundantly, happy, and safe. You have raised Katelynn and I with the most wisdom, love, freedom, adventures and strength then we ever could have asked for at the gates of heaven.

In my dreams you walk, effortlessly, as if I could wake up and have my dreams be real. Letting go of you physically, while believing in you, has been the greatest challenge. My mind tells me that the impossible will never be possible. I know the constant banter in my mind is simply a wasteful conversation, a stem of fear and mistrust. As I have come to realize impossibility is an illusion. Letting go is a conscious action, which we must practice. Each moment is another opportunity for acceptance. I believe in you in every moment. In every moment I hold you in the greatest love of all.

You have taught me not to follow my dreams, but to chase them. Thank You Mama.

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THE HOW OF NOW

It is not always easy to maintain a positive attitude, or a cheery disposition, especially amidst the challenges that face us all at this time. Through the many physical challenges that I face I am also embracing many of the social/emotional challenges both within and beyond the walls of this hospital. During and after the strike particularly, there has been an increased tension and unrest amongst the staff and filtering down to the patients. We are all so intricately connected and vulnerable to the many emotional currents that flood our perceptual field that it is no wonder the difficulty of maintaining a smooth and unfettered disposition. This intricate connection is not to be blamed for bouts of negativity or discouragement however, but rather a reality that our nervous systems are constantly dealing with, whether we acknowledge it or not. Having a spinal cord injury I have come to a huge realization of how sensitive our nervous system is and how incredibly vulnerable we are to all forms of energy, whether we understand them or not. Much of my process throughout this recent journey has been about the ability to accept “what is” and to be in the “NOW”, this is certainly the most powerful place, it is also the most challenging, especially when all of the external influences are maxing out at their highest voltage. I mentioned the intensity of our global climate is real at this time, and I don’t think it will diminish much over the next while for all of us. We are living in challenging times, we are all connected and we are all affected. We all need to accept how important it is to take care of ourselves, physically, mentally and spiritually and commit to that – as a source of strength and solace in these difficult times. This commitment if embraced as an act of love becomes ones lifeline and most importantly a lifeline for others which in a beautiful way keeps us in the moment as it is impossible to be anywhere else when we are out of our own self pity/ sabotage (WHICH IS USUALLY ABOUT WHAT WE DON’T HAVE, OR WHAT WE WANT- PAST/FUTURE).
Take a few moments at least each day to be absolutely still, to be thankful and to cherish yourself as the source and the result of divine energy manifest, hold that as your inspiration and your commitment to move beyond the trials of everyday life to the power of love and light. Every time a negative thought enters commit to “burning” it with the flame of love and light. For most it will be amazing to monitor our thoughts to just realize how many subtle little negative ones are in there. Stick with it, practice proves results.
Bless you and thank you for your time,
Love mary-Jo