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Patience and Perseverance

Patience and perseverance are virtues, they are developed and cultivated; not an item that can be bought or bargained for.

As we rushed to the Castlegar airport at 3:10 our names were blaring over the loudspeaker, “Mary-Jo Fetterly please report to the check in desk.” I admit we had pushed the envelope, leaving all of you and sweet little Nelson was a difficult goodbye. Thankfully Amanda’s and Kate’s support and prowess got me on the airplane in the nick of time. We arrived in sunny Vancouver feeling inspired, encouraged, and again held in the arms of love; by all of you dear and generous people.

Many people ask me how my visit to Nelson was, knowing that it was my first trip home. Some of them had viewed the coverage by Global TV and others knew of the fundraising event Home Sweet Home. Quite literally the only words I could uses to express my feelings were love and pride. That is you, and I thank you for all of your continual support- and perhaps these words in a small way can express how much it means to Amanda, Kate and I. Along similar lines I was visited this week by my sister Anne and my mother Ruth. Who preceded a visit from the rest of the family just before the Nelson trip. Their continual expression of unconditional love and support is and example for us all and incredibly touching and heartening.

I spoke to a woman a few days ago who has had a spinal cord injury for 9 years. She is an inspirational woman and comes from a very similar community and family as ours. Molly Hale ironically is connected to the web we are lucky enough to be a part of in Nelson. We spoke of many things and made plans. We also discussed some more personal commonalities, beyond sharing similar communities. Perseverance and patience were the doorways through which we marked our shared experiences. I felt innocent in my early stages of recovery, talking with such a veteran whom I am aware has overcome many obstacles in order to walk and rise above her medical diagnosis of quadriplegia. My innocence was only ear marked by time and yet still the factors of patience and perseverance are present and becoming more and more important and powerful.
I accept that I as a neophyte in this new place which I reside is a fragment of what a person such as Molly Hale has learnt to endure and develop.

Patience and perseverance are virtues, they are developed and cultivated; not an item that can be bought or bargained for. Patience particularly is a quality I invite you to try on, as a skin that draws you deeper into your heart, compassion and understanding. Patience I have discovered is a quality that is very close to love and connected to living in the moment, beyond the small mind and ego. Patience takes great practice and perseverance. We are not encouraged in this culture to wait, to be still, and to be patient.

As I learn to be patient with myself in order to get an olive from the plate into my mouth, hold the phone, develop strength to move forward, and allow those who are caring for me to express their own learning and process. I expand into patience and as I do I send that prayer and the gift of patience to all of you, particularly to be patient with yourself.

Love and Peace
Mary-Jo

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Departing: Vancouver Arriving: Nelson

The critical state of MJ’s physical condition lessens each day. With every waking moment and possibly some of the unawake ones she becomes stronger, more balanced, and even more determined then ever to achieve her desired goals.

With each new day that passes MJ picks up another unreachable piece of paper, or pushes herself down the hallway a few kilometers faster. The time is drawing closer and closer for us to come home for the debut visit. The anticipation of home flickers through our reality and yet many aspects of this turmoil still remain evident. Family is still coming and going, smiles arrive with them and tears are the signature departure. Flowers that line her room are still blooming and withering. And even though life was put in a standstill the sun still rises and sets. The critical state of MJ’s physical condition lessens each day. With every waking moment and possibly some of the unawake ones she becomes stronger, more balanced, and even more determined then ever to achieve her desired goals. Time now separates us from the moments where a loved one was fighting for survival. As this distance is created between accident and present a new wave of life pushes itself on to our beach. Perhaps crashing the safe sand castle of GF strong that we have been destined to. But perhaps this wave pushes us on to a new space of sand that we had never imagined. A space where we can create a vision we didn’t even know we had. So now it seems that MJ, Kate and I stand alone on a beach surrounded by sand and sea, and our tools are instruments of the mind and heart. Where can we go? What do we do when we get there? How do we incorporate what we knew and had to what we have and know?

As the familiar salty breeze of confusion lingers our questions are all answered…
Don’t fight the tide. Because life will always provide.

This is for you friends, family, community and some generous unknown faces; you have given us the most amazing ability to trust. Because of this incredible opportunity you have come forward and you continue to come. You truly are the lifeboat when the waves swallow us. Each day when I look at my mom fighting to reach for a cup or being able to push herself along the Physio mat to struggling with regulating her bathroom activities. I pull from the amazing source of strength that have provided. I look at her adapting and accomplishing and I see in her eyes the same strength.

Words will never be enough. So until we are all personally be together and can express this gratitude; know that we send you strength to accomplish all that you dream of. To overcome all that you fear. We pray for you, draw from that and we will all be rich in heart and support and honesty.